Recently, a post from HuffingtonPost by Isabelle Tessier, "I want to be single but with you" has gotten more than 30,000 shares and still counting.
And to be honest? We are sort of confused. I look at the two women generations before me; my mum and my grandma. My grandma is a traditional wife and mom. So is my mum. But that's all the similarities there is. My grandma is happy and very contented while my mum is miserable overall. Well, grandma survived WWII, nothing is going to get her down. My mum, meanwhile, is constantly searching for her significance in this world and still is. I believe, her discontent with her own life is a result of timing. She was born when girls are beginning to be allowed to go to school and have a real career (that aren't only limited to teachers, nurses and secretaries) [1]. As with all women of her time, she was given a chance to choose: a traditional role like her own mother, or carve a difficult but new path for herself. For her, she was too timid and chose a traditional role of financially dependent wife like her own mother. With that, she despises her own life. The rest of the pioneering women of my mum's generation had paved a way for us. Feminism was their battle. To be recognised with the big boys. To compete, to play on eye-level. They did that. So the girls of our generation don't have to. We have our education, our career, our freedom to be whatever we want to achieve, wherever we want to in the world. But what now?
I want my freedom of choice. I want to have my own life. One that I've been cultivating all these years through college and my own high flying career. And yet, I want to be married. I want someone to share my life with. Together and yet not. Our lives intertwined but with distinct selves. Living together and letting the other have their own space. To have intelligent arguments, not typical Hollywood arguments. I want to have my own personal identity and still be one half for another man.
We're not angry with men unlike the previous generation. We're are feminists but not the Hollywood depiction of feminism. We understand that we are our own individuals and are true equals of men. And after all that, we still want to be someone's wife. But if it doesn't happen, we'll be alright. Citations: [1] Miller, J., Schooler, C., Kohn, M. L., & Miller, K. A. (1979). Women and work: The psychological effects of occupational conditions. American Journal of Sociology, 66-94. This post was published on www.executivelifestyle.sg as The Pondering of a Modern Independent Woman
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